Since I started writing this, I have discovered that there have been humans who were abused by chickens when they were young and vulnerable children trying to do their job of serving their family chickens. I decided to follow up these allegations with an investigation.
The following is an interview with the spokes-chickens for National Council of American Chickens.
Kluks: I have here Belina and Cleopatra Chicken, who both have taken vows of abstinence from the cocks of their species.
Bel and Cleo, do you see any relation between abuse of human children and the vows of abstinence that chicken egg layers have to take in order to provide humans with the eggs they want?
Bel: Why no Kluks. Bauk! Many humans assume that we hens just need to have a cock around to keep us happy. We have chosen to live this way for the most part. Bauk, bauk! It is a matter of a few sick or probably previously traumatized chickens who can't handle being around the little hands of humans taking their eggs from under them.
Cleo: Bauk! Yes, I agree that some chickens have been abusers, but for the most part, we like our humans and we want them to feel safe with us. Bauk! The real problem is over crowding and superiors who just move those chickens known to be abusers to a different part of the hen house.
Kluks: So you say there has been a cover up?
Cleo: Bauk, yes, I'd say so, but then you humans also need to look around and realize that it's not just us chickens at fault. Bauk! There are many other species that don't treat humans very well. Bauk. LIke look at the geese for instance.
Bel: Yes Cleo, but let's focus on our own right now. Bauk! We feel real bad about the human children who were traumatized by chickens and we want to help heal those wounds.
Kluks: But what about the responsible chickens?
Bel: Those chickens need help. They need to be kept out of the hen house and away from the hands of young children. Bauk. Bauk. but we also need to look at the bigger picture.
Kluks: What do you see as a solution?
Bel: Bauk. We chickens need space. we need to run free and stretch our legs a bit.Bauk!
Kluks: But don't you think that will create more problems because of less control?
Cleo: No way Kluks. Then you can see who the problem makers are and cook them for dinner. Bauk. That will keep us who are not abusers off the dinner table.
Kluks: Will the chickens still be able to do their jobs though.I mean, will we still have the egg production?
Bel: Of course! Bauk! Bauk! If all chickens were given the chance to move around freely, we would be producing a better quality egg and more of them. Bauk.
Cleo: We want to live peacefully together with humans. Bauk. We want you to know are not all bad. Bauk Bauk.
Kluks: What do you want to say to those who were abused as children by their chickens?
Bel: Bauk. First of all, we feel real bad about the damage that a few have done. We have started a support group to help with the healing of these humans. Bauk. Please contact the Hu-man Chicken Haters Club's Abused-by-Chickens-Hotline. Bauk! We are not going to ignore this problem any longer. Bauk.
Kluks: Since this report, it has been found that not only hens are abusers but perhaps the biggest human abusers are, in fact, the roosters.
1 comment:
When I was young I did a very stupid thing. My dad always kept one rooster in the hen house. (He said to keep them happy.) One day while gathering eggs, I crowed back at the rooster. He started attacking me every time I came in to the hen house. I learned a very good lesson. I did not blame the rooster, but it made gathering eggs difficult.
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