Wednesday, August 31, 2011
the secret life of chickens: three against one (or six, counting humans and chi...
the secret life of chickens: three against one (or six, counting humans and chi...: Detroit: It is a nice quite town, no sign of gang attacks. I had a relatively quiet weekend, relaxed, ate, shopped, showered (for a wedding)...
three against one (six, counting humans and chickens) or raccoon returns with friends
Detroit: It is a nice quite town, no sign of gang attacks. I had a relatively quiet weekend, relaxed, ate, shopped, showered (for a wedding), and slept.
Minneapolis: Gang of three raccoons tried to devour chickens, but for the help of their loyal guardian, Beyonce (and sons #1 & 2, and random niece).
4:30am: On a relatively quiet night, in a relatively quiet neighborhood, all hell broke loose as the Raccoon Three, complete with masks, switch blade claws which they maneuver faster than the most adept opposing thumbs, and chemical warfare, slip quietly into the backyard home of Bel & Cleo. It is thought that this was a gang initiation. The youngest of the three was sent to make the attack.
The Beyonce, Guardian Dog knew something was askance and the three humans followed her out the door.
Beyonce shoots into action, while two of the Raccoon Three stayed in the tree watching and the third, hovered around the coop. Witnesses said Beyonce was able to leap tall buildings (the chicken coop) in a single bound. She leaped over the coop and attacked that raccoon. The raccoon was screaming and Beyonce had full control with her mouth around it. She shook the raccoon and landed it on the deck. By this time it could barely move. It lay on the deck, wounded but still breathing it crawled toward the tree where his homies were watching. Son #1 tried to get Beyonce in the house but she took off after that raccoon and shook it till it died at the foot of the tree with the two in the tree ready to pounce.
After the kill she was covered in blood; son #1 brought her inside to assess the injuries but found none.
Meanwhile, after Beyonce was in the care of son #1, son #2 attempts to rescue Bel and Cleo. They were safely tucked in their nesting box the whole time. He took Cleo inside to the porch for the rest of the night and came back out to darkness in the backyard. Still nervous about the two raccoons in the tree, he made his way to rescue Bel while random niece uses her camera to flash light at the raccoons to make sure they stayed treed while the chickens are rescued and brought to safety.
I return from Detroit at midnight. Two chickens greeting me at the door in the porch where they have spent the last 4 nights. Daytime home is still the backyard.
By the way, they continue to lay eggs. They know they are safe with Beyonce.
P.S.: Rumors of Beyonce being pregnant are not true.
Minneapolis: Gang of three raccoons tried to devour chickens, but for the help of their loyal guardian, Beyonce (and sons #1 & 2, and random niece).
4:30am: On a relatively quiet night, in a relatively quiet neighborhood, all hell broke loose as the Raccoon Three, complete with masks, switch blade claws which they maneuver faster than the most adept opposing thumbs, and chemical warfare, slip quietly into the backyard home of Bel & Cleo. It is thought that this was a gang initiation. The youngest of the three was sent to make the attack.
The Beyonce, Guardian Dog knew something was askance and the three humans followed her out the door.
Beyonce shoots into action, while two of the Raccoon Three stayed in the tree watching and the third, hovered around the coop. Witnesses said Beyonce was able to leap tall buildings (the chicken coop) in a single bound. She leaped over the coop and attacked that raccoon. The raccoon was screaming and Beyonce had full control with her mouth around it. She shook the raccoon and landed it on the deck. By this time it could barely move. It lay on the deck, wounded but still breathing it crawled toward the tree where his homies were watching. Son #1 tried to get Beyonce in the house but she took off after that raccoon and shook it till it died at the foot of the tree with the two in the tree ready to pounce.
After the kill she was covered in blood; son #1 brought her inside to assess the injuries but found none.
Meanwhile, after Beyonce was in the care of son #1, son #2 attempts to rescue Bel and Cleo. They were safely tucked in their nesting box the whole time. He took Cleo inside to the porch for the rest of the night and came back out to darkness in the backyard. Still nervous about the two raccoons in the tree, he made his way to rescue Bel while random niece uses her camera to flash light at the raccoons to make sure they stayed treed while the chickens are rescued and brought to safety.
I return from Detroit at midnight. Two chickens greeting me at the door in the porch where they have spent the last 4 nights. Daytime home is still the backyard.
By the way, they continue to lay eggs. They know they are safe with Beyonce.
P.S.: Rumors of Beyonce being pregnant are not true.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
The Dog is not a chicken!
Once again, the raccoon strikes. This time the fight was intense, but Beyonce the Chicken Guardian stood her ground to protect her flock. Now let's go to a live interview with the heroine and the girls she saved.
Kluks: Cleo, can you tell us what happened in your own words?
Cleo: bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk
Kluks: ok, ok, how about in human words?
Cleo: I just bawk, flew out the nesting box door when I heard that vermin coming. bawk, I have been there, done this. bawk bawk, I wasn't going to let that vermin get me again. bawk. guess you might say I flew the coop, bawk bawk.
Kluks: so you left Bel in the box?
Cleo: Bawk, bawk. I figured she follow me.
Kluks: Bel, tell us what happened when the raccoon came into the box.
Bel: Well, Bawk, I screemed bloody murder bawk bawk. Next thing I know the guardian dog came barking something fierce, Bawk bawk. And the ugly monster turned and ran out the door. Bawk bawk.
Kluks: So your saying Beyonce saved you?
Bel: Bawk bawk, Yes I guess she did. and then she came and checked to make sure we were ok. Bawk bawk, I was so scared, bawk, chicken , you might say, but I feel better bawk knowing that our guardian is here for us bawk bawk.
Kluks: Well that's the chicken story now let's hear from our heroine. Beyonce, what is it about you that makes do this?
Beyonce: Rell, RI ron't row. RI rust ron't ru ree ra rirls ret urt. Reir ry ramiry rand ru rake rare orf ramiry.
Kluks: Ran ru, I mean can you tell us what happened out there?
Beyonce: RI Reared ra rirls rying ror rhlp ro RI rot ry ruman ru ret re out. RI ran around ra roop and rure erough rere ras rat rermin arain. Ruoooo.
Kluks:and what rid ru roo, I mean what did you do?Beyonce: RI rumped orn rat rermin, rand ripped rim rover. RI rade rots rof roise rarking rand ervry ring. RI rot ra rew rood rites rin rand rhe rot re. ree, right rere arove re eye. arrhooo. RI rwon rough. RI rased rim right rout rof rere.
Kluks: The chickens think your something special. they don't know why, but you take care of them. Can you tells us why you do it?
Beyonce: Re rew rup rogether. Rand RI ron't ret rany rermin ret rhose rirls. rand RI ram ra rood righter.
Kluks: So how are you feeling today after fighting off that raccoon?
Beyonce: Rell, RI rhad ru ro ru ra roctor rand RI rhink re ruck re rin ra rut. RI ron't row rhough, ry ruman ras ratching re rehind ra ears. RI rove rit rhen rhe roes rhat.
Kluks: And rhat's rhe rway rit ris. Rood right.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Chickens and other life stories
I haven't been here since Easter! Sorry girls, your lack of egg production put me in a fog of depression. Do you know what it's like having to admit that you're not laying eggs like it says on the box cover; "These chickens will lay one egg every 24-36 hours as long as they are healthy." So when one of you stops, I feel like I must be doing you wrong somehow. Now that you are both laying again on schedule, I realize it was probably the intense heat of July, and the trauma of me being gone ALL THE WAY TO INDIA for almost all of June and a good part of May, after all I wasn't really fully here the few weeks before and the after my trip--kind of like what the kids go through going to camp but they usually do better during those times, they actually speak to each other, though maybe it was because they actually did the traveling. Is that the problem? Did you want to go to India with me?? Let me tell you, they don't treat chickens as nicely there as you are treated here--at least not the ones I saw. You are much better off here. But now you are both laying again in a regular fashion and Bel, since it was you that had the most difficulty, you sure are proud of yourself when you lay. Cleo, you just take it in stride, like "I am just being a chicken. No big deal."
Recent News: I came out of the house one day last week to find a hawk sitting on your coop. You both knew it too because you were hiding in your nesting box, right under the hawk's nose. So we now have string and vcr tape string across the coop area. Seems to be working but last night I found a hawk tail feather. Did we have another visit girls? You two had better keep your noses up when outside the coop area because I can't protect you out there.
One more thing girls, I may be a little distracted--just a warning, because I am going through one of those life marking events: I am going to be the MOTHER OF THE BRIDE! I know, no big deal, but do you know what your grandmother went through before you were hatched. Not that I am going to be a grandma yet but I don't know what chickens call it when there is a new rooster in the house. Don't fret. It will calm down again after mid October so please just keep laying those eggs.
Recent News: I came out of the house one day last week to find a hawk sitting on your coop. You both knew it too because you were hiding in your nesting box, right under the hawk's nose. So we now have string and vcr tape string across the coop area. Seems to be working but last night I found a hawk tail feather. Did we have another visit girls? You two had better keep your noses up when outside the coop area because I can't protect you out there.
One more thing girls, I may be a little distracted--just a warning, because I am going through one of those life marking events: I am going to be the MOTHER OF THE BRIDE! I know, no big deal, but do you know what your grandmother went through before you were hatched. Not that I am going to be a grandma yet but I don't know what chickens call it when there is a new rooster in the house. Don't fret. It will calm down again after mid October so please just keep laying those eggs.
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